1. |
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I feel nothing anymore
While you were riding high at sea I was anchored to the shore
I hear the coast is nice this time of year, it must be warm
What I would give to be sixteen in the sun with you once more
But I've been through this with you one too many times
We've left those golden days of youth behind
So whenever you leave, be it this year or next week
Don't bother saying goodbye because you've already left me
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2. |
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After work last night, you drove up to my house sometime around midnight
I met you outside
Got in
My insecurities swelled up again
And then I let you have it
I tore right into you
I watched your unsure eyes flicker from side to side in the rear-view mirror from the passenger seat
Quiet like a parkway drive with no lights at night, you didn't speak, the radio kept humming, and I realized
I had forgotten the words to my favorite song
With every fumbled word and stumbled sing-a-long it occurred to me that this would be the night where you drive home for good
And leave me behind
Staring at your tail-lights
Looking up and cursing the sky
But then you rested your head on my shoulder
Looked up and said you'd love me forever
The damage is done lets just stay like this for a little while
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3. |
Mt. Kazimirof
02:42
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On a whim last night I climbed to the top of what must have been the highest point in all of the Bronx
And from where I sat I saw the Throgs Neck Bridge, my gateway back to home
But as the fog rolled in, I saw it swallowed home
I think I'm getting back tonight
Would you care if I came over?
I'm scared I'm starting to forget your highway exit, the warmth of your bed, the touch of your fingers, your kiss on my head
I scratch the hours in the wall 'til I can see you again
But sometimes my homesick eyes fail to see my feet in front of me planted firmly in wet cement from the New York City streets
This fucking city's got the best of me
They say a "Bronx Block" is twice as long
but they make you feel twice as far away from me
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4. |
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I could walk out of my house and drive through your town
Turn the engine
Blur the lights on Sunrise Highway
One more summer left to keep until a web of city streets keeps you from warming my sheets
Miles of anxiety pile on my shoulders endlessly
But I still dream that I get caught up in the seams
I swear to God that the distance is terrifying
Because I'm not prepared to leave my heart behind
Walk down Pettit back in time to the bleachers where it started in the rain that night and fall in love again
Let the water wash me away
Your joy may fade away but one day soon I'll have to face this
Appetance seems to persist in absence
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5. |
Warsaw Polaroid
02:20
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I tried throwing rocks at your window from half the world away
But skipping stones across the sea couldn't help to bring you near to me and throwing all those stones left me with no road to come back home
But do you remember that little looseleaf page that I filled up with cliches so long ago?
Well, I hid it in your coat pocket, in hopes that someday you'd find it, to remind you of the boy I was back when I snapped that picture of you standing in the parking lot, smiling in the cold
Another summer lost
Another year spent
No need to forgive, you don't seem to forget that that smile faded the day I left
I don't sleep now so I don't try
I don't dream so I don't shut my eyes
But in my daydreams the sun still shines
In that polaroid, your hair's still bright
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6. |
Bear Bridge (July 5th)
03:23
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I always get caught in the headlights
I've been up for more than a few nights thinking about the next time I'll ever see fireworks over the Bronx skyline
Or how we'll ever survive the distance when sharing a twin bed still isn't enough
I stare in my chest and can't tell the difference between where your heart ends and where mine begins
But I won't take for granted the time I just spent reflecting on my life and who I would like in it
First day home and I'm starting to digest the following months and whatever comes next
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